Dream Deep

I'm in your debt, Rieda - thank you so much for the wonderful feedback. This thread's been dormant a long time and it was nice to hear a new opinion. ...

I found it beautiful, Phoenix. ^_^

I gave you the running commentary of this in the chat, but I'll put the more salient points down here. ^_^ Overall, this was a great chapter (of course, why ...

I don't if I can possibly help it - it usually comes out terrible, gets tangled up in metaphor and ends up with no discernible subject. I'm no poet; just ...

I loved the last one... ^_^ It was hilarious.

Thanks Lilyy and Fish, for the read and the possible crit - very much appreciated. ^_^ Phorcys: You make good points with both the Prologue and the first chapter... the ...

This moved right along, Gyr and it brought out new aspects of both Moncreif and Danteel - then ending was cruelly devised, there should be a law against leaving readers ...

Good job, Trident, on this one as well. I got a good sense of this place and of your hermit. But there is one thing you might want to look ...

( continued from previous... ) -- Their entrance into the kitchens and their meeting with the cook is well-written, good job there. ^_^ The Nagai found that he could now ...

For being, as you say, a relatively un-polished piece, this one reads much better than its predecessor on the first run through. This one won't need near as much attention ...

Better on this edit, Gyr, by far - it's come along nicely and there's not much more I can suggest you look at. It reads at a nice pace and ...

Much better on the rewrite, Gyr. It has a much more polished feel now. ^_^ I got a better glimpse of both Mattira and Danteel in this scene. Though there ...

The best way for me to respond is to give you more. Be warned, you might want to have something...punchable on hand for this one. Heh, you give yourself too ...

I love you Gyr. ^_^ More specifically, I love how you write, but a simple 'I love you' works, too. To give you something to gauge it off of, this ...

Oy, Jig, with you having posted an entry like this, I don't stand a chance. >< Though, competition aside, this is a fine piece and I wish you the best ...